I’ve been sick and uninspired, so I apologize for not writing in so long. However, a friend of mine told me three stories that cracked me UP! So, I thought I would share. I have changed all names, etc.
So, a friend of mine, Betty, works at a local apparel store. She was in charge of the fitting room one night when this man struts out in a G-string. He’s pulling the sides up in order to enunciate his…item of interest. Strutting up to Betty he says, “Do you have anything that will fit this?“
Betty, “I’m sorry, we don’t carry peewee.”
He immediately turned and went back into the room slamming the door behind him. Concerned for her job, she called management and told them that there may be a complaint against her. She then told management why.
Betty, “I’m sorry, but he had his thing all up in my face, and I’m not having that.”
So then, another day, a woman comes to the fitting room with a cart of clothes. She appears….to have been smoking….not cigarettes….a lot. So, Miss Betty informs her that you are only allowed four items of clothing in the room at once. This lady picks one up and says, “One…” She then proceeds to think hard and long.
Betty helps this…lady…to count out four items and lead her to a room to use. A while passes and the customer walks out of the room…in a thong…just a thong…
Betty, “Excuse me ma’am, but you forgot your pants.”
Customer, “I want more clothes.”
Betty, “You need to want to put on some pants.”
At this point Betty grabs several, not bothering to count, and throws them into the fitting room. The lady follows suit and Betty calls management to report the situation. The lady returned later dressed appropriately…well, appropriately for her anyway.
Now, for the last, and best story. A couple came in late one night, and hung around the halter tops near the door. She was not dressed appropriately to begin with, and he was swaying, so there were a few clues there. She grabs a top or two and holds them up to herself. Her friend reaches up and starts to slip one of her straps off of her shoulder. KaWHAMO! Out they come right there in front of everybody. A family next to them throw their hands over their children’s eyes and run off in shock and terror. Betty jerks up so unexpectedly that she whacks her head on a clothes rack. She runs to the manager’s office slamming the door open and screams, “WE’VE GOT BOOBS!”
The manager, startled and confused, “What?”
“SHE’S GOT BOOBS?”
“OUT THERE! NAKED! IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY! BOOBS!”
Manager, “Are you sure?”
“LOOK AT MY HEAD!”
Enjoy your next clothes shopping spree :). And please, behave yourself ;p!