I already have the next post planned, just not finished. So I thought I would post another-humorous-list of events from work.

Questions and events that ACTUALLY HAPPENED at work.  (If you don’t know where I work, you might not find it humorous.  Suffice it to say, we are open 24/7/365 and I work electronics mainly)

(Call in) “Will you be there tomorrow?”
              “Me specifically, or someone in general?”
              “Yeah.  Are you open tomorrow?”
               “Yes…Yes we are.”

“Would you hold these while I go do some more shopping?”

An individual that is…let’s put this delicately…hyper “I need to get all this now.  I’m going to rehab in 12 days.  They won’t let me in the army otherwise.  I mean, I’m not a druggie or an addict or anything, I got hit by a grenade and so I have to go to rehab.  I’m annoying you now aren’t I?  I’ll go.”  Leaves and comes back.  “Can you watch this for me?  I have to go do some more shopping?”  This person left merchandise on my counter, visited several departments and made several different purchases.  He refused to use just one register.  I personally checked him out more than once and carried his merchandise to a separate register so that he could buy it all at once where I was told that he needed to buy it at my register because it had to be separate.  He bought 2 phones, had a new one in his pocket, and I really don’t know the rest.  I think I’ve blocked the memory.

Upon seeing a Clearance balloon floating on the ceiling over the wheelchair stall in the bathroom, I went to look.  I cannot describe what I found.  One colleague described it as “Someone missed.”  Another as “It looks like one of your cows has been in there.”  It was a bit grainy in appearance and HUGE.  Oh, and not where it should be.  This became the sight-seeing tour of the work place.  Men were venturing into the ladies’ room to see the sight of amazement.  I laughed at one coworker’s reaction so long and hard I cried for half an hour.  The cleanup man started to vomit, and to prevent further mess, a different man had to clean it up.  I’ve heard there are now pictures of this event.  If I find them, I’ll let you know.

“Will my kid’s friend like this?”

 “Do you have that thing on TV?”  This question is asked VERY often.
“What thing in general?”
“You know, it’s on the TV.”

“Do yuns have that yarn that yuns make scarves from?”  (one of my personal favorites)
“You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”
“Well, you were out the other day.  Do you have it in now?”
“Um…we have several different types.  Could you describe it a little maybe?”
“The one you were out of.  If you go out there and there’s an empty spot, then that’s it.”

“If I bring back my TV, can I get it at the sale price?  Because it wasn’t that cheap when I bought it.”

Here’s your sign.