We went to the fair last night. Now, I have every intention, as I always do, of taking my camera. But as what usually happens with good intentions…nothing good. I left my camera at home and had to do well with my phone, which isn’t very good.
One of the things I was looking forward to, after all, I haven’t been to a fair in many years, was deep fried weird things. Yes, I have issues, but this has already been established on many occasions. Keep up.
But before we delve into the main story of humor for today, let’s take a quick look at the livestock. I, naturally, always get a kick out of that.
This is what a leghorn looks like. Now, for the record, these are the healthiest looking leghorns I’ve ever seen. Leghorns are skinny, and usually very unhealthy.
This one apparently missed a bit when cleaning off his shaving cream.
These are golden-laced wyandottes, which are one of my favorites. These are also bantam chickens (really small) which is the same as Bluefoot.
And now for the indoor stuff, produce and crafts:
Biggest pear ever! Actually, it’s a gourd. But crazy, right?
I just found the chicken thing hilarious.
Dragons appear to be a theme this year.
And now for the funny. Ok. So I wanted to try deep fried weird things. I finally found a booth which had deep fried: Oreos, Pop-tarts, Kool-aide, Twinkies, Snickers, Reese Cups, and probably more that I don’t remember. Now, in order to truly understand what’s going on, you must know that:
- If you arrive before 3PM, you get in free.
- We arrived before 3PM.
- We were made to wait until 3PM so that they could charge us.
- Other entrance gates did not do this-we were taken advantage of.
- This cost us $15
So, I arrive at the deep fried station and order Oreos and Kool-aide. It’s run by two little old women who have completely lost their minds. They’re wearing fair shirts, so they’re not vendors working for themselves. They are part of the fair itself. Lady #1 takes my order, never gives me a price, never takes my money, and calls for some guy to go through her truck and bring her the food. ?????
Lady #2 begins with the Kool-aide, which is funnel cake mix with Kool-aide added in. It was pretty good though, especially with the powdered sugar on top. She reaches her bare hand into a giant bucket of batter and throws this batter into the hot oil. My deep fried Kool-aide does not look like the pretty little hush puppies it’s supposed to, it looks like the Kool-aide man vomited in hot oil. I tell myself that the hot oil will destroy the germs from her hands.
Lady #1 Gives up on the guy and gets it herself. When she comes back, she apparently thought Lady #2 already took my money, because she hands me a $1 bill and says, “This is for waiting for long.” and then disappears again. I kept the money, assuming Lady #2 would take my payment eventually.
Lady #1 returns to say that she can’t do the Oreos. I tell her I’ll take a Reece Cup. She disappears, and then returns to say she can’t because they’re frozen together, so here’s the $6, and then hands me $6. Trying to come up with any excuse to give her the money back without actually admitting I hadn’t paid (yes, I probably should have told them, but I was out $15 that I shouldn’t be. I’m sorry.), I give it back and tell her to give me a Snickers. She leaves to do so. Lady #2 hands me the deep-fried Kool-aide “balls” (and I use that term loosely).
Lady #2 then quickly returns to hand me what looks like a piece of poop covered in partially cooked batter. Ew. The Snickers bar had not been dipped properly, and neither had it been cooked long enough. It was not pleasant and did not get eaten.
So after all that mess, we finished up and then dropped off at the beef show before leaving. I’ll leave with a couple of pictures from it: