If you’ve kept up, I used to work at a law office. If you haven’t kept up, no biggie, just know that I used to work in a law office. Please also note that I have anxiety. (I hesitate to say, “I suffer from anxiety,” but I do, although not nearly as bad as before.)

But anyway, so most days I would walk in to a giant pile of files on the end of my desk or would leave with a giant pile on the end of my desk because the attorneys liked to pile me up half an hour before quitting time.

What did I learn?

That that’s OK. Take your time, and it’ll get done. It’s OK to be piled up, and I applied that knowledge today. I had a LOAD of things to do today, or so I thought. My trouble with anxiety is, if I don’t know how to easily do something, I think it’s going to take forever because I have to research and figure everything out. And today I had to do something new that was overcomplicated, annoying, and took several hours.

Now before you go off wondering why that’s a big deal for me, apparently I’m the only adult in my family capable of learning. My husband and father request and usually require me to make all business transactions and phone calls for them. They are incapable of calling the phone company to ask why their bill is off or when the next one is due, etc. And they’re unwilling to learn how to. If they can’t figure something out, they don’t try, and will wait until they get a cut-off notice before asking me for help. I have to keep a calendar of when other people’s bills are due because of this, and remind them daily until I finally demand to see proof that it was paid, in which I sometimes hear, “Fine. Will you do it for me?”

Sigh.

This is also why my house will never be tidy.

Back to my point. Ah yes, the pile on the end of the desk. So, I get home from dropping my kid off from school and eat a leisurely breakfast before getting started. The anxiety builds, but I tell myself, no it’ll get done. At one time my brain quits, so I take a break, eating a leisurely lunch.( I also had a headache and upset stomach, so said break was needed.) I come back feeling better and finish everything that needs doing, and it’s not even time to pick up my kid from school. Why yes, I am finished with everything. Now to get ahead.

It’s OK. That pile on the end of the desk? Just take it one file at a time. It’ll get done.

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